I remember my friends during secondary school..
All hoping me to find a boyfriend..
Then I will just tell them no one wanna chase me..
They will only say me,'don't bluff lahz Sandy.. You not bad what.. Who don't want..'
In the end I can only smile back at them..
I have guys who love me..
I also love to admire guys but not wanting them as boyfriend..
None catches my eyes though..
Until I meet Alex..
But due to me thinking too much of accepting guy at the age of 16..
I rejected him even though we love each other..
Even Zhi Xuan too..
But to me he just a good friend..
And when he says he likes me..
I can only smile back to him..
If I were to accept Alex..
Will it really be that I will have a better love life?
For he really loves me and really take care of me as a nu er..
And slowly developed to love as a girlfriend..
And yet why am I so stupid that I didn't accept him?
What done cannot be undone..
And I thought I've found the one like him..
Everyone was so envy of me..
My friends said,'Wa.. FINALLY arhz Sandy.. You got a Boyfriend.. Hope you can last long with him..'
I was blessed by so many of my friends..
And yet I don't want to disappointed them..
I just want a boyfriend who can love me and treat me like all other boyfriend do..
Is that a difficult wish to grant me?
My life is like a fairy tales to me..
Until the worst part of my story came.. .. ..
This blog holds no meaning now..
I wanted to write what I feel seriously..
But I was afraid that in the end..
It will still be the same outcome..
I can't write anything about him anymore seriously..
Till now to me..
It seems like he don't care at all..
I don't know what to say..
But the feeling is unbearable..
I don't wish to be treated in this way by others..
Am I not good enough?
Oh ya..
Guys always sweet talk about how good you are at first..
Even before you stead with him..
After that he got your heart or everything..
Everything changes seriously..
They themselves won't know..
They think that this should just be the way..
Am I correct?
Or am I wrong?
I only know now this thing is making my life worst..
And YET.. .. ..
I don't wish to say..
He himself know..
A guy won't just leave his girlfriend behind..
Won't let her alone to handle things that is belong to the both of them..
Will do anything no matter what..
To make his girl happy..
I keep asking myself..
I have a lot of choices..
For why I choose him..
I don't love him at all..
Chance was given at first..
And more and more demanded from him..
After you make sacrifice for him..
AND HERE HE IS..
Thinking that..
"Haha.. got everything already i think she won't leave me"
Keep thinking the same event happen around me..
Why am I so foolish?
If he really love me..
He will know what to do even he don't..
Anyway..
Having a baby now is not bad an option uh?
Can just stay at home everyday to take care of him/her..
Don't mind supporting him/her myself..
Only afraid child will have no Dad..
Oh my god..
Be like Maia Lee..
Not bad a suggestions..
But Maia Lee is got people want lehz..
But she don't wanna marry but want a baby..
I wanna be one too..
Studying in NYP now makes me nuts..
If GPA drop..
Or maybe don't have the chance..
I will just stay at home chionging back Maple..
Being a NO LIFE HUMAN..
10:10 PM